Myxomatised

For those who haven't come across it myxomatosis is a viral disease that kills rabbits and a bridge system designed by some devious Australians. If you're interested in the system there's a pretty good run down by bridge guys.

For the purposes of this story though lets say that the 2♦ opening shows either:
1) a weak two in hearts
2) weak 5-5 in spades and clubs
3) a strong two in diamonds
4) some big balanced option (maybe 21-22)

This is exactly the kind of system you need to prepare a defence for. Fortunately my partner and I had seen similar before so we had it all sorted: "Treat it as a transfer to hearts". This means that double shows diamonds, 2♥ is a takeout double and everything else natural. What could go wrong?

Well I picked up this:

	♠ K Q 5 x ♥ x x ♦ A K x x ♣ x x x

Thats not very exciting in itself but starting with my left hand opponent here's what happened:

(2♦)	Myxomatosis as explained above
X	Must show diamonds hooray for system!
(2♥)	Don't know what their agreements were but probably just to string out the auction.
3♥	If my partner has diamonds I'd really like to know about a heart stop or 4 card spade. This is a cue now right?
(/)	Hoping the damage has been done.
5♣	Diamonds and clubs I guess.
(/)	Opponents are taking awhile... yawn.
5♦	When partner shows two suits I give preference!
(/)	Auctions getting awful high
6♥	What is that!! Does he think I've got hearts? Oh no. what does that mean the rest of the auction was...
(/)	This must be the wrong contract.
6NT	Can't say I'm optimistic but 6♥ sure ain't making.
(/)	You mean we're not playing in hearts?
/	Shrug at least I'm not playing it.
(//)	Lead on!

Can't say it's an auction I'm happy with. Happy or not the dummies coming down and I'm going to have to play 6NT on a small diamond lead looking at this:

	♠ x ♥ A J x x ♦ J ♣ A K Q T x x x
	♠ K Q 5 x ♥ x x ♦ A K x x ♣ x x x

Now I thought that when we'd said that 2♥ was a takeout double then to "double and bid" you'd bid 2♥ then correct to your suit. My partner clearly had a different view. Not exactly a disaster though, if the J♦ holds and they mess up and give me an entry to hand I'm only a trick short! The J♦ didn't hold so I won the Ace.

Plan plan plan, need a plan. Right here goes. If West has KQxxxx in hearts as he probably should have then I can run the clubs pitching a spade, heart and two diamonds. Cash the A♥ removing Easts only heart then lead up to the spades. If East is careless on the clubs and bares his A♠ then he'll have to put me in hand in diamonds. So I ran off the clubs as quickly as possible trying to look like a guy who makes 6NT all the time and it worked! This was the layout:

	♠ x ♥ A J x x ♦ J ♣ A K Q T x x x
♠ A x x ♥ K x x x x ♦ x x x x ♣ x		♠ J x x x x ♥ Q x ♦ Q x x x ♣ x x
	♠ K Q 5 x ♥ x x ♦ A K x x ♣ x x x

Wait. That's not what I was hoping for. East and West threw spades which was according to plan and I cashed the A♥ which all went well but then when I led the spade up West won the trick. Before cashing his heart trick he thought it might be best to give his partner the K♦. Now you understand why I showed the 5♠ in the hand. It was my friends, trick 12.