I'm real (and this is what I look like)

For those of you who were starting to suspect I'm a robot or a sentient pair of scissors I have pictures to prove otherwise!

Here are some things I like to do when I'm not playing bridge:

Try on silly hats.

Have a beer or two.

Stand around outside.

Normal service will resume shortly.

I love spot cards

Maybe that's a stretch but they are a fun part of the game. Sometimes the difference between opening a weak two on QT9874 or QT8532 is two doubled undertricks.

Here's a little hand that came up recently. North opened 1♦, you bid 1♥ and when South bid 1NT everyone was speechless.

	♠ K T 7 3 ♥ K 9 ♦ A Q J 4 ♣ T 4 2
♥ 8		♠ Q 2 ♥ A T 7 6 4 3 ♦ K T 3 2 ♣ A

Declarer plays small off the table fairly quickly at trick one but you'd better think. If partner has 8x and declarer QJx then any heart will do. But if partner had only the eight then you must play the ten.

Declarer wins and loses a diamond finesse to you. Cash the Ace of hearts and now using your magic ♥7643 force out declarers remaining Q5.

Any other card at trick one gives declarer 3 hearts and the contract.

	♠ K T 7 3 ♥ K 9 ♦ A Q J 4 ♣ T 4 2
♠ J 9 8 5 ♥ 8 ♦ 8 7 6 5 ♣ K J 6 3		♠ Q 2 ♥ A T 7 6 4 3 ♦ K T 3 2 ♣ A
	♠ A 6 4 ♥ Q J 5 2 ♦ 9 ♣ Q 9 8 7 5

It doesn't work for me

My brother, a fellow bridge player, has a theory.

When he has 5 or more spades and his opposition bid 4♥ he's been bidding 4♠ over the top. I'm not quite sure on his rules but it doesn't sound like vulnerability is that much of a concern.

Since he's been claiming successes of about 9 times out of 10 I've been trying it out. Sounds like lots of fun. Only, it doesn't work for me.

Vul: EW Dealer: South	♠ Q ♥ Q J 6 4 ♦ Q J ♣ Q J T 6 4 2
♠ T 9 8 7 4 3 2 ♥ - ♦ K T 8 7 3 ♣ 7		♠ J 6 5 ♥ A T 9 3 ♦ 9 6 4 ♣ K 8 3
	♠ A K ♥ K 8 7 5 2 ♦ A 5 2 ♣ A 9 5

Now admittedly unfavourable probably isn't the time to go trying new competitive bidding theories but what a hand! If any time was right to bid four over four it's now right? If my bro can do it on any ol' five carder surely a 7-5 will work for me.

Turns out no. Even at equal vul this is a bad sacrifice; unfavourable it's a disaster.

But. I have an admission. It wasn't all doom and gloom. A poor decision by opponents to bid 1 more combined with less than dazzling play delivered +50. That was worth a round 10 IMPs where it should have cost 9.

Am I doing it right?

Six four bid less than this

In this tale of over excitement in the auction I was fortunately on the right side. It wasn't me who held the 6 - 4 shape. My hand was a more sedate 5 - 4, something like this:

♠	A 7 5 4
♥	J 8
♦	A 5
♣	A Q J 8 2

Eschewing a strong no trump I started the auction with 1♣ hoping to mention both my suits at the 1 level. When the next hand passed my partner responded 1♠ which counter intuitively shows diamonds¹ (could be a bal 6-9) and denied a major. A double on my right completed the first round.

West	North	East	South
-	-	1♣	Pass
1♠*	X

At this point I have to admit I was a bit of a coward because I bid 2♣. If partner has 10 highs we'll find our game and if not our ability to stop the heart suit is questionable. Anyway, with at least 8 hearts out I bet I'll get another turn.


Lefty after passing smoothly a round earlier now went into a huddle. Much time passed and then somehow 4♥ appeared on the bidding pad. I had a sneaking suspicion that this contract might be a stretch and had the axe ready when two passes brought the auction back to me. Fortunately for all concerned the axe head remained in place as it was swung and no bystanders were injured².

West	North	East	South
-	-	1♣	Pass
1♠*	X	2♣	4♥
Pass	Pass	X	End

	♠ K J 2 ♥ K Q 4 ♦ Q 9 4 2 ♣ K 6 5
♠ Q 9 6 ♥ A 7 ♦ K J T 7 6 3 ♣ 9 4		♠ A 7 5 4 ♥ J 8 ♦ A 5 ♣ A Q J 8 2
	♠ T 8 3 ♥ T 9 6 5 3 2 ♦ 8 ♣ T 7 3

That bad.

Partner led a club then ruffed the third round. We started on diamonds and declarer ruffed round two. A heart saw my partner in again and a third round of the red pointies gave me the ♥J. Finally a spade trick completed the sticks and circles.

1. I'll blog this system soon.
2. I was there!

How many points do you need?

This is a poll and there are no wrong answers. Just silly ones for which everyone will gently ridicule you....


Given a flat hand, what is the minimum points required to bid 3NT in this position:

Pass - (3♠) - ?

Here are a few hands to aid your thinking:

15 ♠ K Q 8 ♥ Q 7 6 ♦ K 9 8 ♣ A J 8 6

17 ♠ K Q 8 ♥ Q 7 6 ♦ K Q 8 5 ♣ A J 6

19 ♠ K Q 8 ♥ A 7 6 3 ♦ K Q 8 ♣ A J 6

21 ♠ K Q 8 4 ♥ A Q 6 ♦ K Q 8 ♣ A J 6

For those that can't answer a question without all the details; imagine you're playing pairs, everyone is vulnerable and it's raining.

Seemingly normal

♠ A 9 6 4 ♥ 9 6 2 ♦ Q ♣ K J 9 6 4		♠ K J T ♥ K T 5 ♦ J T 7 5 ♣ A 5 3

West	East
Pass	1♦
1♠	1N
Pass

Seems like a normal auction.

Nothing's going on here.

Surely it'll play like any other 1NT contract. Good chances of making eight tricks and some chances for nine.

Why then is this a major swing board?

	♠ 8 7 5 3 ♥ A Q J 3 ♦ - ♣ Q T 8 7 2
♠ A 9 6 4 ♥ 9 6 2 ♦ Q ♣ K J 9 6 4		♠ K J T ♥ K T 5 ♦ J T 7 5 ♣ A 5 3
	♠ Q 2 ♥ 8 7 4 ♦ A K 9 8 5 4 3 2 ♣ -

Oh. Right.

The points don't tell the story

What if I told you that North/South have a combined 26 points with a nine card fit, but can't make game. East/West have the remaining 14 points and yet game is cold.

Anyone can place key cards off side you say. All the EW points are in KJ holdings placed carefully over the poor NS tenaces.

Nope, not a single finesse on this hand.

Voids! There must be voids EW.

No one has a void. In fact no one has ten cards in two suits and EW have only one Ace.

	♠ A 7 6 ♥ Q ♦ K Q 9 8 ♣ A Q 9 5 3
♠ J T 9 2 ♥ K 8 7 3 ♦ J T 6 2 ♣ 8		♠ K Q 4 ♥ A T 9 6 4 2 ♦ 4 ♣ T 7 4
	♠ 8 5 3 ♥ J 5 ♦ A 7 5 3 ♣ K J 6 2

See, no finesse fails and there's no extreme shapes. It's not even one of those problems where then tens hold all the power. Swap any ten to any hand and there's no difference.

Yet, any player who has learnt to draw trumps (stopping at 13) will bring in 4♥.

Strong club dilemma

If you open a strong club it's likely that your opponents will gleefully jump in the way. It's a soft target. More so if they can break your relay or shift it up a few steps so you're in less familiar territory.

This is such a problem that it's often argued that all the advantages of playing a strong club come when you don't have one. The benefits of tightly limited openings in the other suits outweigh the shortcomings of the strong club.

With that in mind Keith, a director at my club, came to me this week with a dilemma. Say you hold 17 highs. Your partner is dealer but before they get a chance to act, RHO passes.

Your options are to, A) accept the pass out of rotation and open your strong club, or, B) cancel the pass and let partner open.

What do you think?

The power of 9xx

Lets play a little game. I'll start describing a hand and you tell me when you work out why 9xx is critical. Here's the full deal:

	♠ Q 9 2 ♥ J ♦ Q 7 2 ♣ A K 8 7 5 4
♠ K T 6 4 ♥ 7 4 3 2 ♦ J T ♣ Q J 3		♠ A J ♥ A Q T 8 6 ♦ 8 4 3 ♣ 9 x x
	♠ 8 7 6 3 ♥ K 9 5 ♦ A K 9 6 5 ♣ T

I opened a marginal 1♦ as South to which partner responded 2♣, GF. Ouch.

I have to rebid 2♦ and on hearing 3♣ I turn green and bid 3NT hoping partner holds 15 highs. Not this time.

Seen it yet?

West led the ♠6 (3rds & 5ths), East won the Jack and cashed the Ace.

Three to the nine, what could it possibly be good for?

East thought for some time before cashing the ♥A. Thinking some more he persisted with the ♥Q.

I'm sure I had a hand with nine third in all four suits once.

Not feeling under any pressure to start winning tricks I ducked the ♥Q and prayed that East would continue.

Would a switch to 9xx be better?

East did continue so pitching a club off the table I ran the diamond suit.

Here's the position with two diamonds to go:

	♠ Q ♥ - ♦ - ♣ A K 8 7
♠ K T ♥ - ♦ - ♣ Q J 3		♠ - ♥ T 8 ♦ - ♣ 9 x x
	♠ 8 7 ♥ - ♦ 9 6 ♣ T

On the penultimate diamond East failed to recognise the quality inherent in his club holding and let go the smallest. Sadly for West that meant that the very next diamond effected a spade/club squeeze and I had my nine tricks.