When no one is watching

I like computer bridge programs. They always follow the system, patiently allow you to test several lines of play and don't get fidgety if you leave for an hour to think about a really tough hand. Most of all though you can commit the most outrageous sins of bidding and play free of rebuke. Sure it'll chalk up -21 imps but you won't hear about it at the bar afterwards or in two years time when it's in danger of losing an argument.

This might of course teach bad habits and instil a reliance on the 'back' button but to me it proves again and again how disciplined you must be when partner is trusting your every move. When the difference between throwing the 9 or the 7 is the difference between 3NT+2 and 3NT-1 you'd better have done the right thing. It also means when I do make atrocious bids I get great practise at playing contracts that require planning, imagination and lots of luck to bring home.

Here's one that happen playing against WBridge on its tournament settings, the auction went like this:

WBridge	Me	Wbridge	Wbridge
(2♥)	X	(3♥)	/
(/)	X	(/)	3♠
(/)	4♠	end

I got the QH lead and this is what I saw:

	♠ K Q T 4 ♥ K ♦ A K 4 ♣ A Q T 3 2
	♠ 8 7 6 5 ♥ 9 3 2 ♦ Q 9 6 5 3 ♣ 6

The hand I held during the auction is now dummy and I get to play it. I have no justification for 4♠ it's truly in the 'punish partner' category of actions. In the mean time the heart lost to the Ace and another heart came through which I ruffed on the dummy. Counting up my tricks seemed like a pretty negative thing to do, 1 club, 5 diamonds and that's if I can draw trumps. What about a cross ruff, I could cash two diamonds then ruff hearts and clubs... but the clubs are almost certainly wrong, my biggest trump is the 8 and the 2 heart opener might only have 2 clubs. So I went for a run.


Surely any working strategy needs the diamonds working and to use them I must draw trumps. Wouldn't WB have made a wee double with AJ9x sitting over my hand? Well ok, I'll bang down the K♠, ruff the heart return, cash the Q♠ leaving out one trump then run the diamonds until someone ruffs and claim. Great! Solved! Too bad I was still halfway round the park.

Oh no. What if they don't return a heart? Well I could still ruff one myself, doesn't seem too hard. What if they duck the spade? That would be tricky, if I continue spades WB can take the Ace and cash the Jack destroying my second heart ruff. So if the K♠ is ducked I need to cross to the Q♦, ruff a heart with the T♠ and exit the Q♠. Now the spade duck is for nothing because East can't return a heart to complete the force off. This was the full hand:

	♠ K Q T 4 ♥ K ♦ A K 4 ♣ A Q T 3 2
♠ 9 3 ♥ Q J T 8 7 6 ♦ J T 8 ♣ K 8		♠ A J 2 ♥ A 5 4 ♦ 7 2 ♣ J 9 7 5 4
	♠ 8 7 6 5 ♥ 9 3 2 ♦ Q 9 6 5 3 ♣ 6

WBridge had the good graces to award 11 Imps to this failure of bidding but success of play. It was excellent to have time to think about the hand without being able to play it, that way I couldn't ruin it before my plan was complete.